Fibrillation

Realistic idealism ***
Valid during many months: This influence awakens your interest in unusual, out-of-the ordinary states of being and consciousness. You suddenly become aware that life has a deeper dimension than you have previously known, and you want to learn everything you can about it.

People react to these energies in various ways. If you are very much rooted in the material universe, regarding nothing as real unless you can touch it, you will become much more concerned about abstractions, principles that previously seemed too disconnected from the material world to be important. You may be surprised to discover that you actually do have ideals that you are willing to stand up for, even though you have always considered yourself a hard-headed pragmatist.

If you are among those who are less interested in purely material concerns, you will find your interests becoming even more spiritual. This influence can awaken an interest in the occult or in mysticism, and it is one of the times during which people begin studying astrology and related subjects. Any technique that helps open up a new aspect of the universe will attract you at this time.

A related but somewhat different manifestation is that you may become involved in movements of social reform. You see that the world does not work as it should, and you want to work very hard to improve the lot of people who are less fortunate. While your views at this time are inclined to be idealistic, your idealism is not totally removed from reality. You can work with a situation as it really is in order to bring about the changes you want. Your activities along these lines could range from the relatively conservative approach of working with the poor, ill or disadvantaged in hospitals or other such institutions, to working with groups that have much more revolutionary aims.




All i have to say is...yikes.

The Bear-necessities

This is kinda funny.

Click

I'd imagine it'd have have a FML line. Maybe something like: I was having sex and roared for an hour as I finished. The confused preschoolers who were on a field trip started crying. FML. Some kid will never, ever watch Jungle Book ever again.



Also, we scrimmage SDU tonight. It is on. Goal to focus on is to BREAK the MARK.

Academic Earth

This website is amazing.

http://academicearth.org/

(re)cycles

I drove back from Irvine earlier and pondered over randomness, in vile attempts to avoid dozing off at the steering wheel. San Diego warmly welcomes back the burgundy beast of a Camry.

The weekend was good, as it is always nice to leave the battle sites of La Jolla and see what's occuring in other news.

Anyways, the thought came up during the drive was the concept of cycles, and how everything can be a cycle. Almost too simple. Frisbee is a cycle, a back and forth game of offense and defense; same with basketball, and all sports to that matter. Even movies that are being made are repeats of old movies. The oscars are today. I hope dark knight wins a shit load of awards.

Music is a cycle, songs. And not just the songs themselves, but what you listen to and also whenever you listen to something new or something from the past. Life. The circle of life. Recycle, reuse, reduce. Trash it. Get a new one. Or even more cliche: wash, rinse, repeat. When something breaks, repair or get a new one. Man, this post is sounding more and more like a uber-tacky-being-high post. But whatever, the title of the blog speaks for itself.

My life is currently measured in terms of quarters, frisbee seasons, and science experiments. Once I graduate, what will i measure my life in? Whatever the process I undergo i guess...

"For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?"

So...how should I presume? Vorsicht bitte.

But then what keeps us on our feet? If everything is a cycle, how do the periods change? How do you break the cycle? Maybe you cant, and you just have to alter the formula of your sinusoid. After awhile, if you keep doing the same thing, you're a broken record...which can be good if the cycle is getting all A's or watever. But is that why we strive for perfection? I'd suppose that even once thats achieved, one would become bored. What'd be next?

So perhaps thats when its time to try new things? For me, the hardest thing to do is to make a choice, after tons and tons of thinking and overthinking. Change something so your period is different? Maybe increase your amplitude? Maybe if you're resonating with something, change your style so you no longer resonating. Likewise, the opposite applies. Flexibility.

We cycle with everyone else in this great machine of a world. Hopefully mr. obama isn't fucking shit up. Just fund the lab and the Chinese and I'll try my damnest to obey the law.

I played Frisbee today (not much of a surprise) and was very erratic. No drops, but poor decisions. Terribad.

And to finish, heres a poem auf Deutsch:

Der Lorelei (Heinrich Heine, 1822)

Ich weiß nicht, was soll es bedeuten,
Daß ich so traurig bin,
Ein Märchen aus uralten Zeiten,
Das kommt mir nicht aus dem Sinn.
Die Luft ist kühl und es dunkelt,
Und ruhig fließt der Rhein;
Der Gipfel des Berges funkelt,
Im Abendsonnenschein.

Die schönste Jungfrau sitzet
Dort oben wunderbar,
Ihr gold'nes Geschmeide blitzet,
Sie kämmt ihr goldenes Haar,
Sie kämmt es mit goldenem Kamme,
Und singt ein Lied dabei;
Das hat eine wundersame,
Gewalt'ge Melodei.

Den Schiffer im kleinen Schiffe,
Ergreift es mit wildem Weh;
Er schaut nicht die Felsenriffe,
Er schaut nur hinauf in die Höh'.
Ich glaube, die Wellen verschlingen
Am Ende Schiffer und Kahn,
Und das hat mit ihrem Singen,
Die Loreley getan.

beautiful. ive been in the rhein but never have i heard of the lorelei.

Also, I began my meditation training on Saturday with my mother. Apparently people who've been meditating for a long time (so like "master" status) have been shown to float off the ground. The closest rendition I have is smoking pot. I guess i'll have to see for myself. Hopefully meditation will help me focus better and become stress relieved. I've already envisioned myself meditating on the sideline before games. Its going to be awesome. Step 1) Sit indian style with hands in lap. step 2) Breathe in and out. Step 3) Count to 10. Step 4) Breathe in and out. Step 5) Count to 10 again. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Handling thoughts.

The main job of the handler should be to break the mark. I'd never heard that until fagin said it. I don't break the mark enough. And our team is terrible at marking. Wait...handlers that don't break the mark...on a team thats terrible at marking?! That adds to...uh oh.

Our team needs to be able to swing the disc and be more confident in breaking the mark. Continue to attempt to break, even if you just got hand blocked, provided that its a good decision and attempt.

I like how our game stats are categorized as goals, assists, execution errors or TOs, decision errors (more TOs), and Ds. Life is one big fantasy game. Fantasy...life!

I'm going to go home, and use the time to meditate and go easy on myself. I need to refocus myself for the final stretch. I got conferences and tournaments looming ahead. This meditation would help from distractions and mindless time wasting. To take control. Today, I'm going to wake up early, and go home and tell dad about the meditation stuff and keeping from temptation. Ask my mom about meditation. I also need to get a hair cut, study with elaine, chill with David, and most of all, stay sober and undistracted. I got to get better at the instrumentation class and this homework better be perfect. Gotta stop getting owned in that class. Agh!

And then some stuff for the conference. Read up on EGFR and see what data you can pull from the jump drive. Email the abstract to Biel.

Bring the computer.

Those are the tasks for the weekend. Beng hwk, so you are done by monday night, and working on the Abstract. We will most likely be doing qPCRs on monday, tuesday night.

ugh blazed too much, i have asthma right now. get the blueberry juice.


todays horoscope!

The loftier side
Weak, transient effect: This is usually a very positive influence, making you feel very benevolent and generous toward those around you. This morning your spirit is inclined toward contemplation of the loftier aspects of life. You are not concerned with the nasty little details that make life less than it should be, although you are aware of them. But you simply cannot see any point in paying any attention to them. Emotionally you feel quite good, for this influence promotes optimism and positive thinking. At times this influence indicates self- righteousness and smug arrogance, as if you considered yourself as the embodiment of social truth and wisdom. This attitude may not be entirely conscious on your part, but it may be subtly evident in your phrasing or in an unspoken attitude toward others.


insightful.

Speculation: Along the Way

by Scott Cairns

The roaring alongside he takes for granted.

—"Sandpiper" by Elizabeth Bishop

And when, of a given evening, say, an evening laced
with storm clouds skirting distance parsed by slanting light,

or when the thick air of an August afternoon by the late approach
of just such a storm turns suddenly thin and cool, and the familiar

roaring, for the moment made especially unmistakable
by distant thunder, may seem oddly to be answered from within

—that's how it feels, anyway—and when, of a moment, such roaring
couples as well with sudden calm—interior, exterior, it hardly matters—

in that fortunate incursion whereby the roar itself is suddenly interred,
you might startle to having had a taste of what will pass as prayer,

or a taste, at the very least, of how fraught, how laden the visible is,
even as you find a likely figure for its uncanny agency. Sure,

I'm making this up as I go, hoping—even as I go—to be finally
getting somewhere. And maybe I am. Maybe I'm taking you along.

Let's say it's so, and say we now commence.

Lessons Learned

Tape holds things that cannot stick
and keep leftovers in the fridge
while lessons learned go down the drain
I can't believe in everything
all the bad names gone
and the good ones were all wrong
and so I stayed up all night
slept in all day
this is my sound
thinking about tomorrow won't change how I feel today

Never let your mark erase
'cause broken legs can be replaced
two steps to the finish line
three sips till I finish mine
a straw will always suck it out
close your eyes and use your mouth
and tell me about your song

And so I stayed up night
slept in all day
this is my sound
thinking about tomorrow won't change how I feel today



-matt and kim

Along

By Rae Armantrout

A scatter
of cold cases

makes two
separate strings.

Rival news hours
mime discovery.

*

For so long
we've been practicing—

unwrapping
our surprise.

*

In heaven
the soul is sheltered

from the expanse
of time.

It contracts
to a point
of light

or spreads out
"all along"
like a wave.

*

The real is what
can't escape

Matt and Kim are coming!

Daylight

We cut the legs off of our pants
Threw our shoes into the ocean
Sit back and wave through the daylight
Sit back and wave through the daylight

Slip and slide on subway grates
These shoes are poor mans ice skates
Fall through like change in the daylight
Fall through like change in the daylight

I miss yellow lines in my roads
Some color on monochrome
Maybe I’ll paint them in myself
Maybe I’ll paint them in myself

These sidewalks liquid then stone
Building walls and an old pay phone
It rings like all through the daylight
It rings like all through the daylight

And in the daylight we can hitchhike to Maine
I hope that someday I’ll see without these frames
And in the daylight I don't pick up my phone
Cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home

I have five clocks in my life
And only one has the time right
I’ll just unplug it for today
I’ll just unplug it for today

Open hydrant rolled down windows
This car might make a good old boat
And float down grand street in daylight
And float down grand street in daylight

And with just half of a sunburn
New yellow lines that I earned
Step back and here comes the night time
Step back and here comes the night time

And in the daylight we can hitchhike to Maine
I hope that someday I’ll see without these frames
And in the daylight I don't pick up my phone
Cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home


-these guys are so awesome. they make me happy. kim's smile starts fires within me.

-pres day is coming. I'll be ready. I really really really need to have more discipline to dump the disc. SB invite was so exciting und ich habe sehr viel gelernt. Also, need to throw to the outside shoulder and stop throwing high turnover risk (high injury risk also) throws. No forcing throws through small windows (although i will because i love it). No turns. Everyones happy. And monstro will be too.