Empty House by Marjorie Agosín

The Empty House

you return
to the empty house
you recognize yourself
diminished between
its thresholds
you remember that dawn and the
flight
the captive gaze of the neighbors
in the perfidious ceremonies of an
unwelcome goodbye

now you return
in vain, you do not succeed
in finding yourself
the bushes in the garden
are like a love in ruins
bodies abandoned after
useless quarrels
or perhaps bodies of the disappeared
that you seek in vain in your night
in your language
in your memory

you visit your parents' room
where your mischievous childhood entered
and surprised them in the darkness of their siestas
you are the child who watched over the
exigencies of love

now, the empty bed,
on the walls, stains, cracks,
the ugliness of abandonment

you return to the empty house
to a country at war
without sub machine guns
but still a war caused by forgetting
by the silence of the dead
by the dead hours
by gagged voices

you return in order to still believe in
tenderness
or to feel that something in the wind
reminds you of what was once yours
perhaps the birch tree
swaying in front of the picture windows
on those rainy nights
when you believed in ghosts
their footprints, their laughter
and you let yourself be wrapped in the warmth of sleep
that sheltered your faith

that is why you return today

mine mine mine mine says the sea gull

Ive decided that if i were an animal, i'd want to be a bird (dunno what kind). Birds are chill all the time, just hopping around, finding a telephone pole to perch onto and daydream. I want to fly, go really fast against the wind. I like the high altitude and falling feeling; the butterflies in the stomach never bother me. To float, glide, soar. Too bad the closest ill ever get is in a plane, or sky diving, hang gliding watever. If i were a sea animal, perhaps id be a tang (like Dory). If i were a land animal, a fox cause their sneaky and shit. BTW, this past paragraph was terrible writing. sorry.




This is an image from my backyard. The clouds were more impressive from the other areas of turtle rock but i didnt have my camera at the time. I quickly just snapped this picture to get at least remnants of the crazy constellation painted by the cirrus clouds and the setting sun. They're so wispy and carefree, without any defined moment, kinda just off doing its own thing. Reminds me of blowing smoke. I feel like this is whats going on in my head. I don't know what i want.

I wish i knew, so i know wat to work for you kno? To find that job you'll love, so you'll never have to work ever again. But then again, I'm just being lazy and i know it. You don't wait for the calling, you make it yourself.

But at the moment, I don't know wat i like. What i do right now, what im studying, its fine, its great, its an excellent path, but i don't have the passion for it. I'm just doing it cause I just happen to be on the road. I'm not making any turns or finding new paths...

I'm waiting for the navigation system to tell me where to go. I'm waiting for my call, but I'm getting restless and impatient. I feel that all I'm studying and working for will not matter in the long run and I don't know why. Its all for the enrichment of my own life. Still, all in all, i feel extremely unmotivated. It seems like the grass is greener everywhere else.

We make our own calling and we decide for ourselves and I'm not taking the initiative to do so. I'm stalling and I don't want to care, but in the back of my head, dread of the future looms. We decide for ourselves and its true since ultimately you decide what you like and dislike. What if I just haven't found my calling to decide on it?

Still, it doesnt mean I should give up. Everything matters in the end, no matter how significant. I'm lazy and arrogant, which is the worst combination. I gotta get clean and only time will tell. At least six months. At least six months.

Come on baby, light my fire. why arent i excited about things more? where my motivation? I seem to just not care. The indifference is killing me! the boredom perhaps?

On friday, I had a very good day. One of the better ones in a long time. Elaine took me to cdm beach, where i took the picture of the thinking bird starring off into the ocean. We went to fashion island and stopped at the puppy shop. There i saw this chihuahua that i made me think about duby. i miss him goddamn. We got wahoos and ate it at the beach, just chilling and watching the waves. It was nice and pleasant, stress free. She then took me to the newport beach library. I had never been there and its probably the best library thats not college affiliated that ive been to in california. We studied and stuff and went home. after dinner, we watched ratatouille at the woodbridge family theatre for 3 bucks total and it was an awesome movie. its inspiring. god it might just make it onto the facebook list haha. Following that, we went to this playground by city hall. It was lots of fun. God, so descriptive. We went to the fountain where ASB pictures were took and stuff. It was a bit chilly but nice. The air was fresh, a relief from all that smoke. It was a full moon that night. There were public bathrooms that were open, the nicest park bathrooms ever with automatic flushing and faucets. It didn't stink.


I'm scared of failing. I really am. Thats what this all boils down to. Fear. I'm scared and i guess maybe depressed. But i'm steady and it'll pass. Its what happens when youre trying to quit a drug. This is going to be tough. I'm gonna be in for a long one...

On a side note: In Rainbows, radiohead new album is really really fuckin good. Very ambient and peaceful. i always thought radiohead was loud music, but no, not at all. The music is really fucking good. go download it.

ah, and today i watched finishing the game with david. it was a little funny, but not as good as i thought itd be. :(

sd fire

no school this week because of the fires. sd's in a state of emergency. i came back to irvine today and on the way out, the sky was all brown and the sun was all red. once i hit san clemente, the sky became blue and sun became normal again. i hope everyone is safe and well. theres a fire near irvine also, but the air quality is a lot better. dont burn my house down please!

anyways, in other news:
I xue I: you can meet my girlfriend
I xue I: i've quit smoking
I xue I: haha
CHINASHRIMP44: yea
CHINASHRIMP44: im trying to quit also
I xue I: she made me quit
CHINASHRIMP44: ...
CHINASHRIMP44: did you just say
CHINASHRIMP44: she made me quit
CHINASHRIMP44: SHE made me
CHINASHRIMP44: MADE me
I xue I: yes
I xue I:
I xue I: today
CHINASHRIMP44: slap you silly son
I xue I: er
I xue I: yesterday
I xue I: at my apartment
I xue I: AT MY PLACE
I xue I: i put the toilet seat down
I xue I: after pissing
CHINASHRIMP44: omg.
I xue I: god
I xue I: i was so ashamed
CHINASHRIMP44: you want me to take care of this problem?
CHINASHRIMP44: this rodent problem.
I xue I: lol
CHINASHRIMP44: i will not tolerate this
CHINASHRIMP44: you're being oppressed
I xue I: i am
CHINASHRIMP44: goddamn

comment: dombinated. chick makes will quit smoking and putting the toilet seat down. she has him by the balls.

rewind and fast forward

hows it goin?

its been awhile since ive written. too busy with school maybe? ha. school kind of caught me off guard and got busy really sudden and i feel like im already going in full steam.

ANYWAYS, over the past couple weeks, I went to numerous events including a MUSE concert, a chargers game (which they were totally embarrassed) and a METRIC concert. The Muse concert was actually the week before school started, chargers game was the weekend after 0th week, and metric was during 1st week of school. AND this week, I'm going to go to Fall fest featuring the ROOTS! amazing. weekly concerts it seems like haha.

The muse concert was at Irvine Verizon amphitheaters and the only bad thing about it was standing up on a hill, with your calves strained for a couple hours. They played a bunch of awesome songs including starlight, problematique, plug in baby and many of their feature songs from their new album as well as some oldies including one of my personal favorites: butterflies and hurricanes. My only regrets are not getting closer seats, having a total cockfest (myself, skrimshaw, jeff liu, kunal, nhan) at the concert, and the weed brownies/beers wearing off shortly before muse started playing.

The chargers game (i went with weff) started out as how i would imagine, with the chargers playing well. They werent playing superb, as mr. rivers was throwing up some floaty shit (which you can see from the stands, his passes so fluttery with low velocity, being picked off...). The environment was awesome and sadly, i cant buy beer. I had tho, charger dog and super nachos which were very tasty and expensive. At half time, i was 80% on getting a merriman jersey in boys xl, which fit me perfectly, and was way cheaper than a men's size. Then the chargers started sucking. Fans were booing, chanting MARTY, MARTY, and there was also a fight that broke out. By the middle of the 4th, many disappointed charger fans were emptying out of the Q. Needless to say I was depressed for the rest of that Sunday, and much of the week after. You dont blow a halftime lead when you could have just given the ball to LT and had him do his stuff. I remember a 3-short near the redzone, and Mr. Norv calls a pass play, when LT could have taken it all the way. Sigh...

THE metric concert was one of the best i've gone to. It was just a lot of fun. I went with andre, kyle, tiffany, emma, kunal, nhan, and jenn and we all had a blast and caused lots of ruckus. We got to the HOB way early and I made the executive decision of drinking on a school night for everybody, which would be the right decision. On the way to the parking lot, i saw a delorean! but didnt have my camera to take a picture of it...shucks. We left the venue and got drunk in my car, and returned for the first show (crystal castle) which was some trippy trip hop and shouting and strobe light action that made everything stop action to amplify my euphoria. Our alcohol was wearing off, so we left after the first show and went to a parking lot and got more drunk. What resulted was awesome. After the concert had started, we slowly migrated towards the middle and kind of started our own mosh pit with andre leading the way, jumping around and causing quite a stir. I got high off the crowd and music and went crazy causing all kinds of ruckus. The concert was awesome tho, with the lead singer choosing an interesting decision for fashion (tights and a shirt that only came down to her waist, exposing her butt shape ahhaha. I got back home from the concert to start my BE110 homework and finished at 3. The assignment was due at 7:40. Hahahaha.

I find that i like random music and new music. I just download a shit load of songs from various indie music blogs w/o sampling, and then play the entire playlist. I never really pay attention to the actual artist or lyrics unless the song is super catchy and sparks my interest. I'll listen to songs for up to a 20seconds to a minute and if i don't want to listen to it or don't like it, i skip to the next. I'll put it on standby for later sampling haha...end of the line. For the ones that stand out, ill listen to it a few times on repeat and if its super good, it might even earn a couple (up to FIVE!) prestigious andrew yu itunes stars. And then when I'm scrolling through my artists, I'm always like huh, who the fuck is so and so and listen to the song, almost like listening to it for the first time again.

Its kind of like meeting people. When someones interesting, you hangout and stuff, becoming friends. Whenever you hear a song you like, its always, "oh its this song again" much like seeing a good friend again and saying hi. I hope that my shuffle-all-songs-and-next-on-songs-i-don't-want-to-listen-to is how i deal with people, although it seems like it. But maybe thats just how life is. Growing up, i changed schools a couple times, always having to meet new friends, and then I'd return to old schools/districts to see old friends again, but even still would make a new group of friends, straying from the old group. Every time you move to a new place, you make your friends which stay within your comfort zone niche. You gotta keep in touch and I find that its tragic how its lost so easily. Just like how you listen to new music and have the music you listened to in high school, etc. Even just moving off campus, its tougher to hang out with other friends. You gotta make the effort. I gotta make the effort.

Ah and as for the couple weeks of college gameday, all i can say is WOW, and goddamn i love college football. So many upsets, suprise teams, teams that come from nowhere and dominate powerhouses. When everything works right, you can win. Its not about being the best/ most talented team, but seriousl about who comes out to want to win, and some luck of course. So much parity in the league...i love it.

School sucks. gotta study. i'm doing pretty damn good with my weed stoppage. kinda. Alrighty, enough with the update. onward. ho. =D

first day of school, again

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randomness

too lazy to write...

-went to muse concert on friday. possibly one of the better concerts ive ever been to. on teh way there, i saw unhealthy clouds and sure enough, it would rain.

-played ultimate at sectionals in the rain this weekend. i turfed two airbounce backhands near my own endzone. note to self: dry the disc before tapping it in. dry it well.

-there is always somebody thats better. dont be a frog in a well. always improve to get better. better yet, be the best, and know you're the best

-hooray for rainy days

-new quarter resolutions (in no particular order):

1) no more placing the white girl on a pedestal

rationale: im gonna try to talk to more white girls and see where that goes. ive always restricted myself to asians only and i dont really kno why.... I'm probably not going to get anywhere with this new goal... I'm in wayyyy over my head. but still, time to meet girls/peoplein general.

2) less drugs

rationale: its been a year of stonerhood and its time to move on (to harder drugs perhaps? NEIN!) it'll be tough for this one seeing that i live with a bunch of stoners...the plan is: study study study, blaze maybe on saturday.

3) study a lot

rationale: its business time. classes are harder. no more fucking around son. perfection and nothing short of it. you only get one chance...dont fuck it up! hahaha

4) become the best ultimate frisbee player i can be

rationale: whether i play for ice or lite, i wanna be baller status and dominate people with a blend of speed, agility, and skill. Accurate throws, less turnovers, strong defense. I also must cut down on drops and bad decisions but at the same time, take chances. Also, i gotta be more involved in offense and make plays, instead of just disappearing... and must play big!

5) find a cure for cancer

rationale: why not?

Joshua Tree National Park

Wednesday 10:23 am. Kyle and I started brewing the idea of going camping. We (Kyle, Andre, Will and myself) decided on going to Joshua Tree which is about 3 hours away from SD. Camping for one night shouldn't take much. Its mostly just one hell of a car ride.

My backpack contained no changes of clothes: simply two forties, a bottle of tequila, a sleeping bag, sweater, jacket, toothbrush, journal, and harry potter 7 (which i did not end up even reading making it dead weight). Oh, and i did also bring some chips, teddygrams and some water.

We rented a tent from Outback Adventures for only 14 bucks and by 5:00, we were on the road. 10 minutes into our journey, we realized that we didn't have a lighter... :(

At about 7, we arrived in Riverside and had a scrumptious fried chicken dinner courtesy of Church's Chicken and some bud. So crispy on the outside, so tender and juicy on the inside. Deliciousness. Church's biscuits are also fukin money. They are a little bigger than bitesize, but still able to fit in your mouth in one monstrous chomp. Just like the chicken, crispy/flaky (with a dash of honey) on the outside, soft on the inside. Nothing satisfies like church's. KFC fukin sucks compared to church's.

We continued our trek to Joshua tree, taking the 60 to the 10 to the 62. The roads in the desert are not very well lit and they seem to go on forever. We entered the park at around 10-11ish i guess and w/o headlights, it was completely dark. Joshua trees looked like Dr. Seuss' trees. Hybrids between cactus and normal trees. A freak plant growing only at a certain altitude.

We found campgrounds at Keys View. It's awesome because we just park our car at a campsite and the just trekked into the wilderness to set up camp. We pounded one of the fortys and hiked about less than a mile with 3 flashlights and found this nice little hill. The climb up this hill was atrocious. Will was carrying a huge jug of water and gatorade and I had a huge jug of Arizona green tea. I think everyone almost fell back at one point.

The mountain top was basically a bunch of rocks and we found a nice flat surface where we set up our tent. After setting up our tent we proceeded to foolishly intoxicate ourselves with some jim bean, tequila, and more warm beer. We justified our alcohol consumption with two deck big two which was just too complicated. It simply took too much thinking so we made our excuses to drink easier by moving onto a more universal game: war. High card drinks. No thinking. Just drinking.

I woke up drunk the next morning at around 6:30 and said, "I feel like I have a hangover" and then realized that I indeed had a hangover. Nevertheless, we four ingested some poisonous toadstools with some tasty jalepeno/habenero chips to mask the mushroom's flavor. The toxin kicked in within minutes as we were all in fetal position in our sleeping bags reeling from the drugs. Essentially, our bodies were telling us this: why did you eat this poison? dont ever do it again. I tried to pass the time listening to some soothing music. After 30 minutes or so, everything became surreal.

I hadn't surveyed the area really because it was fukin dark when we got there, but now the sun was out and my mind wasnt straight anymore. Everything triggered the "whoa" factor in my mind. As i looked off our rock, all around us was joshua trees and desert and some rock formations. It was kinda cloudy but where there were holes in the clouds, the sun radiated through in full glory, giving a moving spotlight on a stage effect. It was pretty awesome because the clouds were moving very fast. Additionally, because of the cloudy skies, the weather fluctuated liek crazy. The sun would poke out for a second and itd be fukin hot, and then disappear in the next moment and itd be cold and windy again. This just added to the trippiness of the trip. (descripitive i kno =D)

It was nice to look at the landscape. It was super relaxing and my only regret was not bringing my camera (which i left at home along wtih the tarp for our tent) to take pictures of the countless kodak moments. We started climbing rocks and throwing frisbee from rock to rock when i suddenly had to poo. I found a nice crevice in the rock formations and did my business. probably the best, most satisfying shit ive ever taken. You truly havent lived, unless youve taken shits out in the wilderness.

Andre threw a pass that was carried by the wind, over to the other side of the mountain and we lost sight of it. We went out on a search party to look for it but never found it. We did however discover a whole rock playground and climbed everything we were capable of climbing. I literally had instances were if i letgo, i woulda plunged 20some feet into some crags. I got numerous cuts and scrapes on my hands and legs. The rocks were like made out of numerous little rocks that were jagged and shit. Some would just flake off. Will had a great time entertaining himself, breaking them off big rocks, and then breaking them into smaller pieces.

blah blah blah

Camping and shrooming are a perfect combination. I hated shrooming whne i was indoors and not moving around. Being outside, you won't get stuck in a loop and get depressed and shit. Rather, you're continuously being impressed by nature in its complete glory. This is what the romantics were on, im sure. I was truly awed by the national park and I'm sure ill be returning.

Shh I'm trying to think here!

This is random, but i was thinking about the idea of the equilibrium between complete uniqueness and commonplace routine. Living life, where everything is unique would be one where all of your reactions are for the first time. Everything is "exciting" as it is the first time dealing with them. You get by from thinking on your feet with a basis of rationality derived completely from experience. If everything were unique, would anything be the same? Could a routine ever be established? Also, is any decision made on the spot in real time ever completely perfect?

In contrast, how about a world where everything is the same, over and over and over again... Is that boring? Perfect? mmm la la land? But then, before anything can become a routine, its always has its "de-virginization" and inauguration. Its one moment of being unique.
Hm, can a world full of routine and repetition be unique in itself? lol its an empty and faulty argument. I'm writing about nonsense.

I guess we sightread life, but we all practice our scales, arpeggios, techniques, and theory to be ready. Ready to audition. Interestingly, I think everything can be seen as an audition... I remember when someone compared life to one big college application.

What are we applying for? auditioning for? What are the ends? What are the means?

Ah, babbling about crap and useless things. Talk about wasting time hm? Maybe its the drugs talking.

I'm so disappointed about the chargers! Rivers' first pass was an interception. Great way to start off a game son. The defense gave up a lot of points, but they did make a stand for a possible comeback in the beginning of the 4th quarter. But another 3 and out, with a loss of 30 yards from sacks basically removed all hope i had left. Patriots are looking sick. A fucking powerhouse with moss, and a tom brady who seems to have eons to throw from a dominating O-line. Another super bowl for these guys, barring any injuries...
The chargers are young on both sides of the ball. In fact, id say that its a shame because LT is in his prime, but th team is probably 2 years from being super super good. Keep in mind that they had a complete coaching staff change and its going to take time to adjust. I dont know about norv turner, but shrug, in AJ smith we trust?

mindless loopholes

I love SD and I love the beach. I can always count on the ocean. The waves will always come, and each wave is always different. The water is getting cooler and a wet suit is necessary now. Even so, there is nothing more serene than sitting on my board, floating to the rhythm of the ocean's melody, and watching the sun set, lowering the curtain for the day as the crashing waves applaud the never ending concert. The colors are amazing. When the sky is clear and cloudless, the red, yellow, orange, blue, purple, and others all blend together into a makeshift rainbow. The sunset creates silhouettes of all the other surfers. It's quite the view. Oh, water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Coleridge, you are a genius. What did you smoke?

This reminds me of this passage from a poem i read last month:

Life in action, life in repose, life in
Contemplation, which is hard to tell from daydreaming, on a day
When the sky woolgathers clouds and sets their semblance on a
Glassy ocean. Only its edge goes lisp. On no two days the same.
Is it the ocean's mindlessness that troubles?

I'm not even completely sure as to what these words mean, but I like reading them. Its saying that like sometimes one can feel like life, in action, repose, and contemplation is simply just a daydream that's never the same. Mindlessness. Does mindlessness entail being carefree? or could it be giving up or ignoring worries? Is it from indifference? Life in action, repose, and contemplation: a constant, never ending story.

I had a strange revelation in the toilet stall while i was taking a crap today: the direction of the toilet seat cover. I do not know which way it is supposed to go. Does the flap open to the back or front? I've always had the flap open in the front, but I realized today that it is better when the flap is to the back. That way poop does not rip the paper and stuff and just goes through the paper trap door.

I'm extremely sad about the patriots. As for the video taping, its just disappointing. Much like the situation with my parents, you cant ever know how far back the cheating went.

The cleaner I am, the happier I am.

We watched this movie called "spun" last night, about crack addicts and shit. So many parallels to my own life. I could see myself in such situations already, and in the future. I have to quit lying to myself first. i am already in different loops, spinning around in circles. A line allows progress, a circle does not. How ironic in that its the line that puts you in the circle. The movie however is very well made, and was very powerful. It scared me. When i (used to) get high a lot lot, i would also feel that separation between days were nonexistent. Everything was just one long, continuous day. Work, get high, sleep, wake up, get high, sleep, a cycle resulting in a numbness and depression leading to indifference towards everything.

When he called today to tell her to have a nice flight, she could tell that he was sad. how uncanny of her. He was surprised. She knows him so well its scary. He lied and told her he was fine.

Its been a complete year of blazing now. Its time to stop.
"And the thing is, I can quit whenever I want," he says to her as he sniffs some more magic pixie dust into his nose.

Its mindless isnt it. It makes you mindless towards everything you value and mindful towards obtaining whatever that makes you achieve that mindless state.

hahaha i guess its time i made a choice huh? time to find that loophole.

Anyways, as for this weekend, SC has better make a stand. LSU has been lookin pretty hot and at this point, it seems like a legit #1 team. AND Flynn will only get better as the season goes on. Granted Virginia tech has no reliable offense, their highly touted defense got rolled like crazy. The game was over after the first quarter. SC plays Nebraska, which is ranked very high. It wont be a walk in the park, but the Trojans better play a lot better than they did against Idaho. Perhaps the young running backs were just getting their feet wet and are really looking to mess things up for the huskers.

Meanwhile, across town, that other football team has been looking pretty good. They shouldn't have let BYU catch up last game, and it seems like their offense is on and off. I think its probably because they don't really have a standout dominant wide receiver...

The pac 10 is really making a statement though . Almost every team won last week, except for oregon state i think? but yea, fuk les miles for dissing the west coast schools. If the pac10 and the sec each made an all conference team and played each other, i really think that the pac10 would dominate. we have way more talent and excitement i think.

Pizza is good with canadian bacon, sausage, olives, and...ARTICHOKE HEARTS! youd be surprised.

I'm finally reading harry potter. It's good. There may be nothing that holds my attention span and interest for so long at one point. Oh, my fickle nature.

It's because at this point in our lives, we are extra influenced by everything. Or at least i am? I tend to agree with everything before i question it.
"so and so and so blah blah blah your moms a whore"
"Oh! Me too! Yo tam!"
Why is it though that at this point everything is so influential? And for that matter, I find it hard to find a consistent niche. I'm all over the place with a friend here and there but not really establishing a group other than my stoner clan. Every time you go back to see your friends from back home, its always like meeting someone new. You never know what to expect. Well what can you do right?

So this past weekend I biked from my home in sd, to solana beach trainstation, took the train back to irvine, and the rode my bike from there to my house in irvine. I was very proud of myself. Ridgeline hill was atrocious. ---BUT the ride back was even worse cause i had torrey pines hill to climb and that sucked. The thing is, if you stop while climbing a hill, youre fucked because that initial momentum makes things so much easier.

I've put my tequila crusade temporarily on hold. But i have a new bottle of tequila blanco (the stuff made from 100% agave, which is consequently the stuff that gets you most fucked up) and i will soon continue my far fetched, unreasonable and nearly impossible goal of becoming a successful ambassador of irresponsible tequila consumption.

Thats all for now. Thanks for reading, if there is anyone out there...and on that current thought, if notre dame and michigan play a game this weekend, does anyone care? and if a tree falls on a mime in the forest, does anyone care? Um, that probably made no sense.

First and 10

Wat a weekend...

First off, michigan got blown out, again, at the big house, again. So much for staying an extra season henne, hart, long. I guess...better luck next...game? At least its against notre dame, who isnt that much better or worse.

Secondly, how bout them CHARGERS! WHOOOO! unfortunately tho, my beloved rams lost their game and at the same time, lost orlando pace. lame...

and please, stop complaining and grow up.

The Pull

So I'm guess I'm currently riding my humanities high. All the topics. Enlightenment. Revolution. Romanticism. Those authors were clearly on something fucking crazy.

In honor of those great minds (kant, locke, voltaire are awesome dudes man) I shall here by muster a pitiful attempt at recording the amazing thoughts running around in my head. A beginning to a new end, whatever that end may be. Thankfully, the site has autosave to aid in saving fast fleeting epiphanies and opinions. Oh the dooms of accelerated forgetfulness.

I've decided to write anything (in)credible that comes to mind, whether it be sports, ideas, music, poetry, and et cetera et cetera. I'll try to write something hopefully entertaining for all.

I live a life of "order and instability." I'll get things done when feeling responsible but once I get on the train to crunktown and it decides to depart, I don't know when/where to get off.

"Excuse me sire, which stop is crunktown? The one after downtown or before?"
"Whichever you decide chap. Doesnt matter. You might never find it, or worse you might never leave it if you do."


I guess i'll get there when I do? I'll head...um...maybe perhaps up? Or maybe i'm already there and this is it.

I'm in the state of revolution. I know I'm going to buy many interesting ideas, spending my trust fund of innocence and ignorance dollars. Too many ideas? Never! we float on! Learn a new language. Humor yourself.

This should be exciting. I'm pretty excited. lol.

Reporting live I'm Michael Andrew Yu Coppa. A huge fore-thanks for future reading and (dis)agreeing. You stay cool, weather.