How bad do you want it?

I’m deciding here, right now that I want to go to medical school. I’m going to think long term and it is what I think I really want to do in the future. For the right reasons? Because it’s cool to be a doctor? Because I want to treat people and help? Because I want to prove to myself I can do it?

I just got “scolded” (if you will) by my boss, mentor, friend Weg. I’ve never met someone more intense or more hardworking. He keeps asking me if I want to go. How badly do I want it? The correct answer is: I’ll do absolutely everything it takes. From here on out, I will do everything it takes. I want to be a doctor. And not just to get into some low ranked school. I want to get into a reputable program.

I currently live too much for the moment. Any glimpse of fun, moment of pleasure, fleeting high I take it up. In moderation, these are ok, but I’ve been doing too much that I cannot handle getting to my goal. Party hard sure, but study your ass off. Work your hardest, and prepare for the worst. Be responsible. Be competitive. Reality check.

Med school won’t happen magically. I’m in this mode right now where I feel I’ll magically get good grades the next two years, get an amazing mcat score, and get numerous publications. Weg can help me only so much. He said “I’ll help you, but don’t waste my time.”

There is only yes or no. Black or white. You want it, or you don’t. And I want it. And I’m going to do it.

“Did you expect to do this well?” “You have to, otherwise you won’t.”

I have to want it. That nothing will stand in my way. That nothing can stop me. Is there any better feeling than knowing you are the best, that you are on top, or that you’ve achieved your goal?

Before I left lab, I saw the Jocelyn Chen walk in to turn in something to Weg. I introduced myself to her and she waltzed on by seemingly forgetting about me right away. In the grand scheme I did not matter. But to me, she matters so much. She was the number one BENG student from her year and got into Hopkins med school. She is an example of someone just as intense as Weg. She gets what she wants and works so hard. Aish.

I know once I give my life to this goal, I’ll have to give up things. I don’t want to give up ultimate or lab. I’ll be in the library studying, and playing ultimate to relax and working in lab to get my publications, and the weekly 3 hours on Friday to party.

I have to stop caring about what people think of me. Well, more importantly however, care a bit about what the people you respect think. Do what you want. Like what you do. Life is good.

thursday next

The Loom

I drowned in sleep.
And once my lungs were gills,
I watched my liquid shadow,
fathoms deep,
Weave through a trembling warp
of light and hope
a weft that kills.

No working hand
Had anything to do
with how the sea
Hurled itself in salt against the sand,
or how unfeelingly
The shore forgot to be the land
and mimed the sea . . .

Or how, under the dream,
One tightening thread
Gathered those crooked strokes of light
into a beam
Through which I rose—not quite
from the dead—
more from the blame

Fanned out in
Microshards of extinct species
threatening my head—
Motes that might have been
curses, or killer faces,
Had they not welcomed me, as I woke,
with human voices.

Friendship is...

Friendship is like wetting your pants. People can see, but only you can feel it.

Wanted

Mmm, "Wanted" the latest summer blockbuster starring angelina and some new guy who kinda looks like shia le bouf. Pretty interesting and with acceptable action scenes i guess. I had numerous thoughts about this movie. It was a kinda weird movie with interesting ideas.

-The main character (who was a terrible character. he was kinda dumb and angry. but is it how anyone would feel in that situation. maybe??), along with the rest of the assassins all have this increased alertness you get like when youre on crack or something. It's what makes them super skilled because they can shoot wings off flies and curve bullets around objects. It takes incredible talent and practice to become that acute at shooting and it would indeed be impressive if there were those that could actually do this. Unfortunately, i haven't seen any...but i wish i have. Like some weird Cirque du Soleil act perhaps.

This "increased alertness" was related to the characters "anxiety" level where the character would become stronger when emotionally unstable. (like hulk) It would make them able to see bullets or anything moving at an incredible speed appear as objects floating in slow motion.

-The movie questions fate and belief. It touched on trust, destiny, the monotony of life, religion and all sorts of weird interesting issues. Self consciousness and how you want others to perceive you. I was high and i might have been over thinking a lot of shit. There was also a repeating motif of a new agent being used as a key for an assassination of that specific persons father. The main character was believed that the person who was assassinated in the beginning was his father, whereas his real dad was the person who assassinated that person. This "real dad" would later be killed by the father. (almost like oedipus where the kid kills dad) Also, the angelina jolie character (named Fox) was also used to trap her father into being assassinated. Ultimately it was because that person would be the only person the father wouldn't kill because he is their father. And what else? Who would you believe to be at fault?

anyways, go watch it if you have the chance. its kinda sorta weird but its a healthy fix for the mind.

Un saludo Coppa de Chile

Facebook is pretty amazing at times. You meet people you'd never ever expect. this person from chile found me because I'm also known as Coppa and their last name is also Coppa. It's freaking awesome. I now have "family" in South America...Here is our facebook message correspondence.

Un saludo Coppa de Chile

Between You and Cecilia Coppa Carrasco

Cecilia Coppa Carrasco

June 11 at 5:43am

Andrew hola
No se si nuestro apellido venga del mismo lugar
Mi Bisnonno llego de Italia del Piamonte a Chile...aca en Chile nos juntamos todos los Coppa ya que somos una unica familia.
cuentame si crees que podemos provenir de donde mismo.
Mio bisnonno se llamaba Gaspar Coppa Comerro
cuentame
un abrazo
Cecilia Coppa

Andrew Yu Coppa

June 21 at 3:49pm

Hola Cecilia,

Lo siento, Coppa no es mi apellido. Yo soy Chino (mis padres son de Taiwan y China) y vivo en San Diego, Califonia. El nombre Coppa es un apodo que mis amigos me darian. No se que el nobre Coppa tiene mas significado que un apodo! Es muy interesante y con facebook nosotros podemos conocer a otro. En el futuro, quiero ir a Chile o Italia y visitar el lugar de donde eres su familia. Muchas gracias para su mensaje.

Mucho gusto y tambien un abrazo,
Andrew Yu "Coppa"

Cecilia Coppa Carrasco

Today at 4:33am

Que lindo Andrew Yu!
Me habria encantado tener un sobrino Chinito...mis vecinos son Chinos y y tienen un restaurant de comida cantonesa.son bien amorosos y buenos.
Tu apodo " Coppa" espero ,que no sea porque eres bueno para el trago
Tienes que cuidarte....en todo caso " Coppa" recuerda hay de cristal y oro...todo el mundo se pelea por ganar una Copa en su vida y si tiene dos " pp" osea Coppa ,mejor para ti ,vas a ser un campeón.
Un abrazo y gracias por contestar mi correo.
Cecilia

Oh Germany

Germany day one:
-some soccer in the back yard

-mad skills

-whoa

-whoa 2
-we did this spin thing. she was airborne.

and some more spinning...

californication

I'm sitting at the gate for my flight home. Its been delayed for an hour and twenty minutes and I hope I don't miss my connecting flight...that would just be terrible. I don't want to miss the laker game, possibly the last game of the season.This opportunity to attend the isscr was extremely rewarding. As far as I can say, I have learned more about stem cells during these five days than my entire resear h career. I'm even more excited to get back into the lab tofinally have time to produce some results.

I've definitely learned most about HSCs but I was also introduced to iPS cells which stands for induced pluripotent stem cells. A year ago, the yamanaka group was able to generate these iPS cells by taking a human fibroblast cell and transducing four genes into it.

Pretty genius stuff.

Well I'm going to review all that I've leArned while i am in Germany. So many pathways, genes, markers and models I must know! So much cool stuff I'm stoked.

Ok must conserve battery for music on this iPod. Seriously the coolest thing ever. To have Internet in your hand is almost unfair.